Log in

My middle last name [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | some work ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Pomp [18 Nov 2008|01:31am]
Dare I attempt the internet? God it's been so long. Here it is, ful as always. I feel the sheer power of concentration dripping like an IV full of frozen glucose. The flavors flow into crossed hatchets doth crost my crusty crane. I'm really not sure how I've taken legs off tables and seen the insides of a beast yet slain, whether tis nobler to wander through a valley of carnivores err only being vegetal, or take the scavenge of a million, wasteth crop to withering. Exhalt the spade which tills fresh earth be fallen, and angels hoist strung against the grain. I am COLD sitting in my Novemberoom, a soggy logsworth away, the phantom child of man's lightnings. I already sacked the jacks, today, at a glance. Out of care the faeries blame one another and I fill my blisters with blood.

Please dismantle

[02 Jul 2008|03:43pm]

Think about the enormous power of the goddess
drunk on a dream of eternity
the still beat of a thousand delicate visions
produced by some frantic urge to need death
2 errorempty names | Please dismantle

What grows when unchecked. [22 Mar 2008|07:29pm]
I found this when I got home today.

6 errorempty names | Please dismantle

Something smoother on the other side of the shadow [27 Nov 2007|09:41pm]
Stained-glass trials of skies concluding, another revolution washed white by the rising sun
Layers layering lazily, lamenting cement beneath blankets
spongily muffling a step of crushing colors
To tie this tailored two-piece a slight swiped stripe around the noose
will keep your neck on, its roots grow through your bulk and whim
snaking veins of pumping nature
smoking plains of pumpkin pastures
Proud and Loud you sulk between
too pale not to pale if seen
too fit too right, made too by light
carved from the very space you now outrace.
2 errorempty names | Please dismantle

[18 May 2007|03:22pm]
Timbaland's new album is fucking good.
1 errorempty names | Please dismantle

[25 Feb 2007|04:17pm]
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I do not want the events in my life to be a result of my being subject to the chemicals in my brain.

without me knowing it.
I feel we are subject to so much without the recognization that all that stuff is happening inside our heads. We are held responsible for decisions and actions and thoughts and being who someone might want us to be, when we are barely capable of determining how it works.
1 errorempty names | Please dismantle

we want the world and we want it now [06 Feb 2007|12:38pm]
Reading other people's livejournals makes me feel like I have not been living life or doing anything significant, if only simply because I do not communicate about it. I give nothing for anyone to take interest in. Not words, no, but words are a justification of one's existence.
Please dismantle

It should be wonderful. It should be so simple. [09 Nov 2006|04:27pm]
Somewhere along the way I've lost touch of what is good.

I am far too easily swayed by immediacy.
I don't know what this means about me. I feel like I might simply be a bad person. Not really, but I'm trying something different in my life and it's making me feel weird and think a lot about my character. It's hard to make changes on the journey when there are those whose ideas are not the same as yours and who are going to be affected by your decisions only because of their own ways. I don't mean to always blame other people or discredit their potential for openness, because in truth I apply most things inwardly. I'm looking into other possibilities though.
I'll make some mistakes. It's okay. Live with it. I can't be perfect, even if were to try to be.
Please dismantle

[26 Sep 2006|08:40pm]

This is where I live.
I can't do LJ cuts anymore.
I don't use this thing. It doesn't let me do anything.
So here's this horrible panorama to ruin your friends' page.
5 errorempty names | Please dismantle

[14 Jun 2006|05:57pm]
Did anyone ever think I might like to come home from eight hours of work and NOT SIT THROUGH EIGHT HOURS OF LAWNMOWERS. It's not like the grass is asking to be cut. Each blade of grass may as well individually represent summer, and when you cut it down, you chop away a part of the summer.
Everyone is so caught up in looking nice and making money.
Where are the huge open fields you can sit in surrounded by peace with grass above your head?
1 errorempty names | Please dismantle

[19 Apr 2006|12:39pm]
There was a good amount of violent murderous rage in my dream last night. I forget what most of the premise was, and the setting at that. Some guy ended up going around and killing all these people. Some woman was supposed to kill me for him, but she pretended to suffocate me so he'd think I died but I'd be able to escape. I dunno. It felt very strange having my arms sawed off after he chased me down... It was really weird. I kind of liked it.
2 errorempty names | Please dismantle

scary but it's true, we'll be happy too. [02 Apr 2006|01:49am]
With a recent progression of things, I've been keeping to myself in some ways. Staying up watching movies by myself in my room. Last night was Chan-Wook Park's 'Old Boy', followed by his 'Sympathy For Lady Vengeance'. Tonight I watched 'Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance', the first part of his vengeance trilogy (old boy being part 2 and lady vengeance being the last). I also watched Suicide Club tonight. These movies are making me feel really weird, and I think my brain is trying to function on a different setting.
3 errorempty names | Please dismantle

two sets of arms [10 Mar 2006|07:29am]
[ mood | you wouldn't see ]

We may not have gone to the beach to watch the sunrise, but as I walked back to my dorm, the air was warm, seagulls were squalking, flowers were starting to rise from the soil, and the container of strawberry ice cream from into the early hours of thursday morning still sat on the front desk.

what now?

2 errorempty names | Please dismantle

[08 Mar 2006|01:26am]
[ mood | swup ]

It is supposed to be nice and warm this weekend.
so how about this.
when I come home on friday, I see the show at East, and then I drive people to my beach place in longport afterward for the night and we spend saturday on the beach.
come on.
kat, bianca, ellie.
anyone else?

Edits: my mom informed me that she wants to go to the beach on saturday and maybe I can go there without her later in the week, but I don't know how that would affect my friends' ability to come along. I don't really want to hang out with my friends there if my mom is around with my cousins and stuff. I'll figure something out. It would just be a shame if I couldn't take advantage of the purportedly good weather.

7 errorempty names | Please dismantle

[06 Mar 2006|03:14am]
Holy shit christ motherfucker.


5 errorempty names | Please dismantle

[05 Mar 2006|03:02pm]
[ mood | cold weather and dry skin ]

So here's evidence of the fun at the show last night. Well, it's not evidence of anything, other than the existence of cheeseasaurus rex, that guy from the EZmac commercials. He's real.

Belle&Sebastian!!Collapse )

4 errorempty names | Please dismantle

[17 Dec 2005|09:04pm]
Yesterday was indeed a good day! The general atmosphere of this place was of high spirits and fun. I was finally able to give Derek, Kunal, and Sharon the tshirts I got them from threadless. That made me happy. Ruth and Polina came up to visit for the night and we all had a good time with the multiple parties that were going on around the dorm. lately I've been enjoying good people and good conversations. I'm going to miss Julia when she goes off to Mexico for next semester, and hopefully I will see Colin over break. Polina and I walked around at something like 5am, came back and watched jesus christ superstar and fell asleep on stacked sofas in the tv lounge. I'm glad Ruth liked this place and these people.

Now it is time to finish up and get out of here. I want a break from Demarest so I can come back and take it in from a fresh perspective, and have another go at it.
6 errorempty names | Please dismantle

trashing days [04 Dec 2005|04:40am]
Most of this week I spent the nights in Derek's bed or on the floor in his room, when he's run off to stay with a friend of his. I was doing pretty well with going to sleep around 12 or 1 or so, but now it's starting to not work again, and I find myself up at progressively later hours.

Tonight brought about the year's first real snow around here. Everyone joyously ran out into the cold to run and jump and throw plants and be crazy. Three of the dorms that neighbor mine all simultaneously called the cops on us. It was just nice to see everyone having carefree fun because of something as simple as snow. It makes me wonder why it can't be like that more often.
3 errorempty names | Please dismantle

[22 Nov 2005|03:55am]
[ mood | I don't care that I'm not tired. I just need to get away. ]

Holy fuck. Five weeks of not sleeping before 5 in the morning at the earliest. I'm ending this streak and going to bed now, finally, because this place is seriously going to drive me fucking crazy and I'd like to pretend that I can avoid it.

2 errorempty names | Please dismantle

Explosions in my brain [19 Nov 2005|04:11pm]
So much happens
I never really know what's going on.

These hours in which I am awake seem so empty,
but maybe it's just me that needs some filling

Sometimes the things that I see in my sleep are more exciting than anything real
but I won't even let myself have those things
because I never sleep

anything I see I tell myself is not for me
even if I want it
even if I know I can have it
I do everything to avoid it.
4 errorempty names | Please dismantle

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]